The period of waiting
I hit an intensely emotional point
near--what I thought--was the end of this trial that seemed to catch me off guard. Little did I know that this would be a
"walk in the park" compared to what was ahead. I thank God that this first wave only lasted a couple of days, but
I had to share this portion of my journey. For a couple of days during the period of waiting for the promised GOOD report
I became extremely emotional. I had resorted to crying as uncontrollably as I did in the early days of this trial. It seemed
as if my peace and joy had been "temporarily suspended." Other than the early weeks of this trial, I had spent each
day covered in a "peace that passes all understanding." I was joyful and, on some days, actually excited. I was
filled with hope and awe about what God was doing in my life and in my daughter's body.
I had reached the point
where I had actually HEARD from the Lord. He Himself told me that it was time to go and get my "GOOD report." He
had revealed Himself to me in so many beautiful and powerful ways. He had given me the faith and the strength I needed to
actually function on a daily basis. So why was I so completely emotional? Why all the tears? I had lost focus at work and
started making embarrasing little mistakes. I was starting to lose my patience with my three-year-old son who seemed to have
more energy than I could bear. I wasn't sleeping well. What was going on?!
At first my tears were tears of relief
that this this healing miracle was finally about to happen and that God was about to reveal His glory for all to see. Then
something happened that I didn't expect, I began to see this trial through the eyes of everyone who had been standing on the
sidelines--waiting, hoping, praying, doubting, disbelieving. I began to experience their feelings of helplessness, doubt,
fear, sadness and pity. I was suddenly weighed down with the heaviness of their inner grief and pain. I was experiencing their
struggle to be the type of friend I needed in my time of need. I spent those two, long days crying and calling out to Jesus.
I immersed myself in God's word and surrounded myself with faith-filled believers, but nothing seemed to help very much.
My frail, human mind started to kick into gear. Was this God testing me to see if my faith would withstand the pressure?
Was He teaching me how to be more empathetic? I couldn't quite figure it out so I inquired of the Lord. "God please reveal
to me why I'm feeling this way right now. Why do I feel so emotionally burdened when I am on the verge of more joy than I
could ever imagine possible?" I waited quietly for the answer and God simply responded: "Trust in me."
I stopped using my mind and started thinking with my heart. I turned off my human
emotions and soaked up the love of God's promises, I basked in the glory of His Word and I recalled His gentle voice telling
me that the time had come to get my good report. This last leg of the race has become a time for praying harder, praising
God more and lifting up thanks to Him throughout the day--every day. In the days before the promised good report, the Holy
Spirit was upon me heavier and more often than ever. I felt the warmth of God's presence all over me and the peace that He
brought. My tears turned to joy and my heart was filled with a love like no other--the awesome love of God.
Little did I know that God was preparing me for an intensely trying period ahead.
The "Good Report" He promised was not coming at the time I had appointed, but at a later time that God had appointed.
I had "taken matters into my own hands" and run out to get the good report He promised, but I did it on my own timeline
and not His. I had Chloe's blood work repeated and received another bad report. I was surprised, but my faith and trust in
Him was unwavering. My faith--although it had grown immensely--was not yet perfected in the eyes of God. Jesus is the Author
and the Finisher of our faith and this emotional aside was just the beginning of a further test of my faith and endurance.
I was on my way to a place where I would be stretched to the limits--an intense period of simply waiting on the Lord to move
and keep His promise.
The Dark Valley
During this time of waiting so much happened. Although it still came as a surprise to me, God knew it all along.
In fact, He'd warned me in several ways (prophetic dreams and words spoken both audibly and directly to my heart). I didn't
understand what He was communicating to me at the time or why He was communicating the things He shared, I just simply continued
to trust and wait.
Chloe ended up being hospitalized and intubated after being
unable to breathe one evening. The diagnosis was pneumonia, but with her underlying SMA diagnosis, things were far worse medically
in the natural than they would have been with other babies with pneumonia. Three times I caught a glimpse of my daughter slipping
away to be with Jesus. The first time God assured me that He was with her and He comforted me. The second time His peace was
upon me so intensely that I was even able to communicate a word of wisdom that He gave me to give the doctors. The third time
I saw her eyes fixed on Jesus as her oxygen saturations dropped and she turned an eerie shade of blue. I stood firm on God's
Word and on His promises through each event. I stood on His Word in the midst of the most intense storms imagineable for a
Mom. I stood in faith, I walked in obedience, I kept my eyes fixed on Jesus, I surrendered Chloe to Him once again, I committed
everything to Him and His care, I submitted to His authority, I commanded Chloe's healing. I did everything I knew how and
now, it was up to God Almighty to move. I expected Him to move. I expected Him to keep His promise. I know that He is incapable
of telling a lie. This period in the dark valley is where God taught me my authority in Christ Jesus. This is where my faith
grew stronger. God used this valley to further mold me into the image of Christ and reach out to others. He also used this
time to grow my family up in the faith. My three-year-old son became a mighty prayer warrior, prophesying daily over his sister.
My husband's faith rose to a new level as he was being transformed by a renewed mind. I came to understand that God has a
purpose in everything. And, although there have been times that have felt overwhelming and unbearable, crying out to God ALWAYS
brought Him on the scene to turn things around and work things out for our good. Praise God! He is fully restoring and perfecting
Chloe's little body and in the process, is perfecting our faith. We are confident that He who began this good work will see
it through to completion!
Prayer, Sacrifice, Surrender and Obedience
I started this incredible journey in faith in a place of fear and terror. I was ruled by my emotions. I cried daily
and could not eat or sleep. My prayers consisted of desperate pleadings with God for my daughterÂ’s life. I had
not been exposed to God's promises in His Word at this point in time.
When I was a teenager, I had received a
Bible from a family friend. It was personalized with my name engraved on the front in gold letters. I have kept that Bible
with me over the years--bringing it from place to place, apartment to apartment as I started my college and post-college life.
However, I honestly cannot remember how many (or how few) times I'd actually opened and read God's Word. I went searching
for my Bible and found it in a box among other books and literature. I was so glad to see it--it was almost like being reunited
with a long, lost friend. I noticed when I opened it that there was a bookmark inserted between some pages. I went to the
bookmarked page--it was Psalm 91. I read it and was immediately encouraged. I knew that God was with me and would stay with
me through every step of this journey.
I began to pray daily. I prayed healing scriptures over Chloe several times
daily. The more I prayed, the closer I grew to God and His Word and His promises. My prayer time became a sacred time for
me. I began to look forward to starting my day with prayer and enjoyed the feeling of being able to talk to God throughout
the day and turning to Him with questions (that He always answered!). I had discovered the importance and the power of prayer.
After Chloe's medical diagnosis, the Holy Spirit told me to start a prayer campaign. Below you will see a copy of
the letter I sent to family and friends along with a copy of the healing scriptures I prayed daily and asked them to pray
for her. Thus began a powerful form of prayer that I never knew had a "technical" name, intercession.
When I came to God begging for the life of my daughter, I was willing to do whatever He wanted to in return. Because
Chloe is just a baby, I knew that it was up to me to go to God on her behalf and make a sacrifice on her behalf. I offered
God all that I had--all of me: body, mind and spirit. (God later revealed that I was what He came for in the first place.)
I had been baptized as a baby--before I could make a conscious choice to do it or have any clue about what it meant.
I wanted to make sure that I was a pure sacrifice on behalf of my daughter. I wanted to be cleansed of all sin and unrighteousness.
I had already accepted Jesus as my personal Savior and Lord and asked God to take full control of my life. Now I wanted to
take that extra step of being baptized in water to let God know that I was ready and willing to go all the way. I was baptized
on Sunday, May 14, 2006 (Mother's Day).
After my water baptism, I fully surrendered
myself to God. I told Him that I wanted His perfect will for my life. I told Him that I was an open vessel and asked Him to
fill me to the brim with His Holy Spirit. I asked God to use me, lead me, guide me and show me the way. Do you know what?
He did everything I asked for in prayer.
By fully surrendering myself to God, I allowed Him and His miracle-working
power to move and flow freely in my life. Each day in prayer, I reminded God that I remained fully surrendered to Him.
It was and still is so very important to me to live a life that pleases God.
I want to be the type of person He wants me to be--completely obedient to Him, His Word and His will for my life. I spent
far too many years living my own will for my life. God is so merciful and forgiving. We are only human and sometimes we slip,
we falter and sin in thought, word and deed. However, if we confess and repent, God will forgive us.
I made it
a point throughout this trial to take my questions to God for the answers. I asked Him to lead me into all truth and give
me wisdom, knowledge, understanding and divine revelation. In fact, I prayed those exact words the night before He told me
that it was "time to get my good report." God is so faithful!
Being obedient to God sometimes means stepping
out of your "comfort zone" and doing and saying things that you normally wouldn't do or say. How will you know if
it's the voice of God you hear? Because something positive will result from the message.
Here's a powerful example
of the blessings that come with obedience:
I was praying one morning and God put it on my heart to pray for an
uncle of mine. This uncle has been addicted to drugs for at least two decades and all of the abuse had finally caught up with
his body. His heart was failing and he eventually received a pacemaker. He had been hospitalized every week over the past
few months. I was praying and the Holy Spirit told me to pray for my uncle. I said a prayer for him and the Holy Spirit prompted
me to take it a step further so I prayed for his healing. The Holy Spirit stopped me again and instead of praying further,
I just sat quietly and listened. That's when God put the following message on my heart: He is my child too and all of the
blessings I have given you are available to him if he would just accept Jesus into his heart. Go to Detroit (where my uncle
lives) and take Chloe with you. Tell him about the healing miracle I have performed in her. Ask him if he is willing to accept
Jesus into his heart and then pray the prayer of salvation with him. Wow! This was HUGE!
I was so nervous! First
of all, I can't remember the last time I'd seen or spoken to my uncle. Although my family still lives in Detroit, I didn't
make a point of visiting my uncle much because, to be very honest, he lives in a part of Detroit where there is a lot of drug
activity and crime and I don't feel safe going there (let alone bringing my baby with me!). I sat on my "assignment"
for a few days. On the evening of the third day, I decided to call and find out a good time to visit. When I called, My Grandma
answered the phone (he lives with her). I asked to speak to my uncle and she told me that he had been rushed to the hospital
on Sunday evening because he was having trouble breathing, vomiting and was receiving "shocks" from the pacemaker
the doctors had recently inserted. I almost collapsed thinking that my uncle might die before I got a chance to do what God
had sent me to do! I prayed that God would let Him live until I could make sure that his soul was saved. I made immediate
plans to go to Detroit.
The evening before I went to Detroit, God assured me of a victory I the name of Jesus.
He made His presence known through the Holy Spirit while I was praying and filled me to overflowing during intercessory prayer
for my uncle. The next morning I headed to Detroit with Chloe. We arrived at my grandma's house. My uncle had been released
from the hospital and was home. I began to explain to him that God had sent me to pray for him and with him, but first I had
to share Chloe's healing miracle. After I shared Chloe's story and how Jesus had healed her (keep in mind, this is before
we actually received the promised good report), I told him that God said that all the blessings that He's poured out on Chloe
are available to him if he would accept Jesus into his heart. I asked him if he was willing to do that and he said "Yes,
I'm ready!" I was blown away and immediately fell to my knees and took his hand. My grandma held my other hand and we
all prayed the prayer of salvation together! It was so glorious. Chloe seemed to know something incredible had just happened.
She could not take her eyes off my uncle. My uncle was immediately filled with compassion like I'd never seen in him before.
He was so concerned about Chloe--asking if she'd be able to walk and run and play. I told him that she would be able to do
all the things every other littler girl her age can do, but that it would be in God's time, not our time.
obedient to what God put on my heart brought the miracle blessing of salvation for my uncle. Being obedient to what God had
told me and stepping out in faith on His promises and His Word brought the miracle blessing of Chloe's healing! All glory
be to God!!
(Sidenote: Two months after this salvation trip, my uncle died and went to Heaven. God knows the end
from the beginning. He wanted to ensure that my uncle had a home in Heaven and a glorious eternal life. Praise God for His
the letter I sent to family and friends at the start of this journey. I also found myself passing this letter and the accompanying
healing scriptures out to total strangers! The Holy Spirit had put it on my heart to expose as many people as possible to
Chloe's healing miracle.
May 19, 2006
Dear Family and Friends,
We met with the neurologist on Wednesday,
May 17 to get the results of Chloe's blood work, which had been sent out to the Mayo Clinic. They were trying to rule out
a fatal genetic disease. The blood work came back positive for the disease (SMA) However, we are not accepting that report.
We believe in the report of God--the Ultimate Physician--Who says that "by the stripes of Jesus, she is healed." We trust
in the Lord and know that He has healed our little girl. When the words came from the doctor's mouth, they had no effect on
us emotionally. Our faith is strong. Jesus has, and still does, heal and perform miracles and we fully believe with all our
hearts that we are about to bear witness to a miracle in our daughter. God has been showing us small signs that He hears our
prayers and is answering them. Chloe does something new each week that she was unable to do the week before. God is good.
For those of you who know how innocently this whole ordeal started, this has been the most grueling four weeks of
I took Chloe to the doctor mid-April (just after she turned 5 months old) to check out a lingering cough.
While I was there, I just so happened to mention that Chloe seemed a little behind on her physical development milestones.
After a heart-wrenching evaluation, where her pediatrician could find no reflexes in her legs, I was sent to Sparrow lab for
x-rays and blood work to rule out Muscular Dystrophy.
The blood work came back negative, but the fact remained that
Chloe was still behind in all of her major physical development milestones (rolling over, mini-push-ups, holding her head
steady while upright, etc.). On top of that, she was (and still is) very hypotonic (low muscle tone) which makes her feel
"floppy"--almost like a rag doll-- when you hold her. This has only become more pronounced since she's gotten older and harder
to maneuver. We didn't notice much in her first few months. Hypotonia can be benign with no known cause or just a symptom
of a host of scary diseases. Therefore, we were referred to a neurologist for further testing.
Now that you know the
history of how this all came about, you may be wondering how you can be of help to us at this time. The only thing we are
asking is for your prayers in faith for continued healing of our precious girl and prayers for our family for continued strength
through Jesus. Just as we condemn this disease in the name of Jesus, we are not welcoming words like "I'm sorry," because
there is truly nothing to be sorry for. Divine healing is in progress. Be thankful that you are about to bear witness to a
miracle of God!
I have attached some healing scriptures that I ask you to pray daily for Chloe. I have also included
a couple of recent photos of her so that you can have them nearby while you pray to remind you of the precious child for whom
you're lifting those prayers up to Jesus.
I'll keep you posted on her continued healing. Please just keep supporting
us in prayer. Drop us a note in the mail or an e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org) to let us know that you are continually praying
for Chloe. Thank you.
Love, Nichole, Jason, Noah and Chloe
These are the healing scriptures I prayed (and continue to
pray) over Chloe several times daily. I passed them out to anyone and everyone willing to pray for my precious baby girl.
As you'll notice, even though we were lifting these prayers up on behalf of Chloe, these promises, God's Word, apply to all
of his children!
Please pray these prayers for Chloe
at least once daily. Pray them out loud. Faith comes by hearing yourself speak the Word. Thank you!
"I am the Lord that healeth thee."
Father, I pray Your Word in the name of Jesus for healing for Chloe!
God's Word coming out of my mouth is quick (alive) and powerful and will accomplish what God sent it to do.
God's Words that I speak are medicine to my belly and marrow to my bones.
They are life to
those who find them and medicine (health) to all their flesh.
Proverbs 4: 20-22
My son, pay attention to what I
say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those
who find them and health to a man's whole body.
Father, I serve you with gladness and you bless my
food and drink and you take away sickness from the midst of me.
Thank you, Father, that you have
taken all sickness away from me.
Psalm 103: 2-4
I bless you, with all my soul, you have forgiven ALL my iniquities:
you heal ALL my diseases; you redeemed my life from destruction; you crown me with loving kindness and tender mercies.
Surely Jesus has borne my griefs, and carried my sorrows; He was wounded for my transgressions, He was bruised
for my iniquities: He took the punishment that was needful to obtain my peace, and with His stripes I am healed.
No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Every negative force that tries to come against me I condemn, I cast
it down and break its power in the name of Jesus.
Father, God, I have set my love upon you and called
upon You and I know You deliver me out of all my troubles, show me Your salvation and I'll be satisfied with long life.
I have been made righteousness of God in Christ, that force is functioning in my life, in my pathway is life, and
there is no death.
It has been fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet saying, "Himself took
our infirmities and carried our sicknesses." As a member of His body it is double jeopardy for me to carry sickness. I refuse
sickness in Jesus' name.
I am free from the law of sin and death, being free from that law, the power
of sickness and death has been broken in my flesh. "Body I speak healing and health and life to you in Jesus name."
Corinthians 6:19, 20; Romans 8:11; Galatians 3:13
My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that raised
Jesus from the dead, dwells in me and quickens, (makes alive) my the Spirit of creation is performing God's Words as I speak
them. He is performing life and perfect health to all my flesh. Body you are redeemed!
1 Peter 2:24
my sins, He bore my sicknesses, and by His stripes I WAS healed. Healing has come!
1 John 3:8
Jesus came for the
purpose of destroying the works of the devil.
1 John 4:4
The greater one who dwells in me has overcome the god
of this world and his destruction.
3 John 2
I do prosper and I am healthy and my soul prospers in the knowledge
of Jesus, THE LIVING WORD (Revelation 19:13).
I pray for others and I am healed! The name of Jesus is
MIGHTY in me, He has given me power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy--NOTHING shall
by and means hurt me!!
Every good and perfect gift comes from God.
Your Word (Jesus) and healed me and delivered me from my destructions. (The Word became flesh and dwelt among us).
you, Father, In Jesus' name, AMEN!!! (It is Done!)
From the very start of our family's journey to a miracle with Chloe, countless people have
asked how they can be of help to our family. We have only asked that you keep us covered in prayer--and we are so grateful
and thankful for your continuing prayers for Chloe and our family.
We now also have a very practical way you can
help us too. Because Chloe currently still requires 24-hour round-the-clock care, it is essential that we are able to be home
to care for her. Jason and I have partnered with the world's largest direct provider of telecommunications services, which
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can view and sign up for services by visiting the PRACTICAL HELP link below.
We'll never be able to truly express
how much your support means to us!
Thanks and blessings, Jason, Nichole, Noah, Chloe and Isaac